stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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