why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
