Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
