just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
