i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
