its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
