i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
