At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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