And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
