Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
