dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
