Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
