Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
