Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
