There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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