He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize