Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize