i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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