i'm signing you up for texting rehab
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
