Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
