I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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