Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
