It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
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I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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