i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize