We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
