oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize