I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
