How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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