Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You left your phone here
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