How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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