It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
