Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize