If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
