And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
