I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
