Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
