that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
