somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
