it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
