We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
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Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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