It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
