bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
