New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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