yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
