i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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