i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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