Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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