You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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