i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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