pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
