We named our party play list daddy issues
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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