Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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