No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
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