I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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