You can't special order awesome
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
