this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No subtext here. People are naked.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
