Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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