Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How does one acquire holy water?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
