i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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