I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
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BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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